Move over pop can alert, here comes the Detroit Fire Wooden Block Alert!
By now you’ve seen the Colbert Report on Detroit Fire’s pop can alert system. After it aired several tech firms have stepped up offering free alert systems to fix the problem. However, for one Detroit firehouse the problem is now getting worse rather than better.
Day 3 With No Alert
As of this writing, the station is beginning day 3 of no phones, no computer and no printer, which means no alert system. Instead, department radios are being monitored around-the-clock for calls in their area.
Detroit Fire Wooden Block Alert System
Firefighters tend to be creative and industrious by nature, so it is no surprise that firefighters at this station have come up with a method to circumvent the currently broken system. They are handing out blocks of wood with “Please Send Fire Truck” printed on them to citizens in their response area.
In the event of a fire, people have been instructed to write their address on the back of the block and give the block to a neighborhood child on a bike. That child should then ride to the firehouse, throw the block through a window of the station, hitting a pop can filled with nails which is sitting on the nonfunctioning printer. When the pop can crashes to the floor, firefighters will then check the block for the address of the emergency and proceed to the fire.
Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch over this, this “new” alert system, this only a joke. It is a way for firefighters to break the tension caused by continual malfunctions of necessary equipment and the excessive time it takes for repairs to be made.
If you want to get angry about something, get angry that this firehouse has been allowed to go 3 days with excessively substandard communications and no indication that anyone (except the firefighters stationed there) is working on fixing the problem. Get angry that firefighters are still paying out of pocket for basic supplies for cleaning and maintaining the stations and fire trucks. Get angry that Detroit taxpayers (and this includes those of you who work in the city, pay city taxes and live elsewhere) are not getting adequate fire protection despite having the most highly experienced, best firefighters in the world.
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